It is true that first impressions matter but do they always matter enough to leave a lasting/permanent impression? Your answer may be yes or no, it could also be yes & no, and you'd probably still be right, especially as it has to do with your life's experiences.

I was thinking along the line of how breakups happen in friendships, relationships/marriages and how people get stuck in abusive/toxic relationships when that paragraph above came to mind. One interesting thing about breakups is that every heart-break story you've ever heard about or experienced once had a sweet, butterfly-in-the-tummy phase. So one wouldn't be wrong to say it started well, vis-à-vis a good first impression.

So what's this thing that changes, how does it go from 100 to zero? Are we tricked by our emotions or do we build unrealistic expectations based off one moment of perfection/imperfection as the case may be - (Im)perfection as conceived by our minds?

In cases were the first impression was supposedly impressive, what would a slight deviation from that "standard" do to one's perception or judgement of the other party's persona? How do we successfully judge a person's character? Why do we give graces to some and deny others of the same?(Yes you have standards—dem no dey use you play, but there are some people you accommodate their excesses and others who barely get a chance to explain, why's that?)

Is the "first impression" an absolute consensus of a person's goodness or bad nature? Or is your judgment just based off your biases and unconscious methods of profiling people? The answer is yours to ascertain.

It would be wise for you to note that we are all capable of doing good and bad, it's an inherent nature and because of the objective and subjective nature of "good and bad", you'll always find yourself on either side of the divide in another person's story. Having this knowledge properly equips you.

I think the average human mind is like a data-bank, like a cloud system, memories are automatically uploaded onto the conscious and subconscious; with your subconscious storing majority of the data even without you properly processing them. So after meeting someone for the first time, our minds switch on auto-mode, generating standards, expectations and simulating scenarios, this is why for some people that are very friendly and who easily warm-up to people, sometimes they expect that same reception with someone they exchanged pleasantries with when next they meet, only to be disappointed or rather feel disappointed.

I believe that human interactions are weirdly interesting, we naturally crave for acceptance or approval, we thrive more in communities, when two souls meet there's this subconscious activation that's turned on, where biochemical waves of affinity are deployed from both parties, these waves either form bonds or they seem to repel each other; that's why you don't understand how you just vibe with someone you only met for the first time and feel a bit off relating with the other person, you don't just like them and you don't know why or you seem to like them but still seem oblivious of the why.

So is it wise to arrive at conclusions in this manner? That is, first impressions? I personally don't think so because, if first impressions only were all that mattered then we'd miss out on some of the best things of life. You have to give people graces to be true to themselves, a display of imperfection is better than putting up an act, pretense and in some cases, hypocrisy.

The truth is that you wouldn't relate with everyone with the same intensity, there are people your values outrightly don't align with and then there are people who experience and wisdom would advise you to avoid, it's life; this is not an attempt to prode you into becoming everybody's person, however it's only a pointer for you to check why you do what you do, to analyze whether you're on an unending pursuit of perfection in or from human beings.

We are all a work-in-progress, add some kindness to yours today, have a great week fam!

Love & Light, always!